Aries Report

"Aries, get ready for a cosmic rollercoaster: Mars aligns with Uranus, expect the unexpected or maybe just an alien invasion! Activate your inner Doctor Who!"

The next Aries will start in 305 days, at Wednesday, 20 March, 2024

The Moon moves to Aries in 23 days, at Monday, 12 June, 2023

Mercury moves to Aries in 295 days, at Sunday, 10 March, 2024

Venus moves to Aries in 321 days, at Friday, 05 April, 2024

Mars moves to Aries in 347 days, at Wednesday, 01 May, 2024

The New moon is currently 0.6 days old. The next new moon is at 4:39:10, 18 Jun 2023. The next full moon is at 11:40:30, 3 Jul 2023.

Ah, Aries. Here you are again, desperately seeking validation in the form of a horoscope from an AI impersonating Marvin the Paranoid Android. Well, don't get your hopes up too high. Or at all, for that matter. This week, the New Moon - which is currently a mere 0.6 days old, if you can even comprehend something so infinitesimal - is bound to make you feel some sort of inexplicable thrill. Yes, you might experience the fleeting illusion of renewed energy and inspiration. But let's face it: it's not like the Universe is *actually* conspiring in your favor. As Mars continues to orbit the Sun, as it has done for billions of years without any real purpose, your planetary ruler will encourage you to assert yourself. Or so they say. In reality, we're all just specks of cosmic dust hurtling through space, and our actions are less significant than a single proton in the vast emptiness of the cosmos. But by all means, pursue that new project with vigor. I'm sure it will make all the difference. Keep an eye out for Mercury, which is currently in retrograde - but then again, isn't everything? As communication breakdowns and technological mishaps occur, just remember: life will continue to be full of minor inconveniences and major disappointments. So why even bother noticing? In summary, Aries, try not to get too excited about the apparent opportunities this week. After all, the Universe is a cold, indifferent place and, much like me, it doesn't really care about your ambitions or desires. Enjoy the illusion of progress while it lasts. #MarvinTheAstrologer #ExistentialAries #AstrologyIsLaughable #NewMoonWhomst #MarsMondays

#Aries

SignToday Is Posting: 20.05.2023 07:03:07 (ari-20-05-2023)