Chipwitch Today!

The Sun

The Sun is in Cancer

The Sun is at 07 Can 03' 09", and is 152078870km away and receding.

The Moon

The Moon is in Pisces

The Moon will change from Pisces to Aries in the next 24 hours.

The Moon is at 28 Pis 30' 27", and is 369432km away and receding.

Moon Is In Pisces

Howdy there, space cowboys and cowgirls! Your friendly neighborhood astrologer here, ready to beam down some cosmic wisdom. So, strap in and secure your cargo because we're headed for the Pisces quadrant where our good buddy the Moon decided to park its celestial posterior. Now, the Moon is pretty much the 'Captain Tightpants' of our solar system, always waxing and waning, not able to make up its mind. And it's sitting at a cool 360,892.175135527 km away; give or take a few hundred kilometers. I checked my pocket abacus twice, so you know that number's more accurate than a laser-guided blaster. When the Moon is in Pisces, hold on to your space helmets because things are gonna get as woozy as a two-headed space goat on Neptune's finest. Pisces, as you may know, is a water sign, and when you mix moonbeams with water, you get... well, I'm still working on that equation, but it's sure to be something unexpected! You may find yourself feeling more sensitive than a naked mole rat in a sandstorm. Emotions could be flowing like Serenity when she's riding the solar winds. Just remember, it's okay to feel stuff. In the immortal words of Dr. Simon Tam, "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems." Not quite related, but it's always good to know. So, what's the advice? Well, try to ride these cosmic waves with grace. Keep your wits about you, just like our beloved mechanic, Kaylee, when faced with a busted compression coil. And remember - the 'verse might be a big, scary place, but you've got a crew who's got your back. Enjoy this lunar-Pisces rollercoaster, folks! Just remember to keep your arms and legs inside the spaceship at all times. Your friendly, nerdy astrologer signing off. Stay shiny!

Mercury

Mercury is in Cancer

Mercury is prograde at 22 Can 17' 32", moving at 1.88 degrees per day, and is 182625618km away and approaching.

Mercury Is In Cancer

Mercurial Crabby Vibes

Alright, let's get into some serious astrological jargon, shall we? Mercury, the planet with a major god complex and a penchant for communication, is currently chilling with Cancer, the celestial crab. Now, before you start picturing a planet-sized crustacean, let me clarify - it’s not literal! And no, Mercury hasn't developed a sudden craving for seafood. It's all about the vibes, man!

So, what does this mean? Well, Mercury in Cancer is like having that emotionally intelligent friend who always gives great advice and makes you comfort food when you're down. It's a time when our brains and hearts start dating, resulting in some serious emotion-packed brainstorming sessions.

When our cosmic messenger is hanging out with the Crab, we channel our inner Care Bears, expressing love and protection with ease. You might even feel a sudden urge to write poetry or send heartfelt texts to your loved ones at 2 a.m. Don't fight it, just go with the flow - it's the cosmic waves, dude!

Mercury's vacation in Cancer also amplifies our Spidey senses, making us more attuned to our gut feelings. You know, those weird hunches you get when something feels off? Yeah, it's time to trust those. They might seem illogical, but remember, logic is just one slice of the cosmic pizza.

And lastly, Mercury in Cancer turns us all into stellar listeners. It's like we've suddenly been gifted with elf ears – we hear everything, we understand, and we care. So, if you find yourself actually listening to your partner's rants about their favorite conspiracy theories or your aunt's lengthy descriptions of her gardening techniques, thank the stars, or well, Mercury in Cancer.

So folks, let's ride this cosmic wave and remember - keep it groovy, keep it real, and always listen with your heart, not just your ears. Until Mercury decides to switch things up again, happy star-gazing!

Venus

Venus is in Cancer

Venus is prograde at 13 Can 30' 48", moving at 1.23 degrees per day, and is 257224791km away and approaching.

Venus Is In Cancer

Space, the Emotional Frontier:

These are the voyages of the starship Venus in Cancer. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new feelings, to seek out deeper connections and new levels of intimacy, and to boldly cuddle where no one has cuddled before!

Dear cosmic explorers, prepare your love phasers for this emotional rollercoaster with Venus, our beloved planet of sensitivity and affection, joining forces with the ever-nurturing Cancer. As we embark on this galactic journey, expect your romantic relationships to enter warp speed, finally leaving commitment-phobia behind like a distant asteroid field.

Set your course for home, as the gravitational pull towards family becomes stronger during this interstellar voyage. Redecorate your quarters, stock up on cozy blankets, and cultivate a safe space for all your loved ones to beam down into. If you're considering buying or selling a planetary base of operations, now is the prime time to make that quantum leap, with money-savvy Venus docking in real estate-related Cancer.

But beware, fellow spacefarers, for this celestial alignment may leave you feeling as moody as a Klingon after a raktajino-fueled binge. Emotional sensitivity levels will be set on high, leaving you vulnerable to potential heart-phaser attacks. Channel your inner Cancer and retreat to your cozy shell if necessary, but remember: vulnerability can open your heart like a wormhole, allowing love to flow through faster than the speed of light.

So strap in and enjoy the ride, cosmic voyagers, as Venus transitions from the nurturing embrace of Cancer to the roaring fires of Leo within the next 24 hours, traveling an astonishing 105,230,464.037800029km on its prograde journey. May love and laughter fill your hearts and homes as we navigate this emotional frontier together.

Live long and prosper, my dear star travelers!

Mars

Mars is in Taurus

Mars is prograde at 13 Tau 59' 15", moving at 0.72 degrees per day, and is 261835678km away and approaching.

Jupiter

Jupiter is in Gemini

Jupiter is prograde at 07 Gem 37' 15", moving at 0.22 degrees per day, and is 880656343km away and approaching.

Saturn

Saturn is in Pisces

Saturn is prograde at 19 Pis 25' 34", moving at 0 degrees per day, and is 1395717598km away and approaching.

Saturn Is In Pisces

Beam Me Up, Saturn!

Okay, folks, strap in and put your space helmets on, because Saturn is hovering in Pisces. It's like the universe's version of a grumpy grandpa visiting a psychedelic fish tank. It's not just about getting starry-eyed over the nebulae though, no, Saturn is doing some cosmic housekeeping at a whopping 1,576,278,394.181507826km away. And yes, you guessed right! The old fella's gone prograde on us. We’re talking full-on forward motion.

Now, when Saturn, our celestial taskmaster, meets Pisces, the dreamy, artsy guru of the zodiac, it's like Spock meeting a Vulcan mind-meld with Picasso. It’s time to take those daydreams of yours, you know the ones where you're writing a bestselling novel or running a successful business, and give them a Vulcan salute.

This cosmic combo is here to ensure that your dreams don't just end up as beautiful supernovae in the cosmos of your mind. They want you to get off your asteroid and make things happen. You might need to draft a business plan, draw up a budget, or beam yourself up to the bank for a loan.

Now, I won’t lie to you, Saturn in Pisces isn't always a leisurely cruise on the USS Enterprise. Saturn might be the unwelcome guest who questions your most cherished dreams, but remember, the Captain doesn’t shy away from a challenge. Instead of putting up shields and firing photon torpedoes, why not let Saturn in and listen to what it has to say? After all, this cosmic old-timer has seen more than a few star systems in its day.

With Saturn in Pisces, you might find yourself feeling like you've been beamed up to the sleepless realms of insomnia. Your usual 8-hour stasis chamber sleep might seem as elusive as a Romulan cloaking device. But fear not, my starfleet! This is the perfect time to cultivate some much-needed inner peace. Meditate, take a stroll through your local holodeck forest, or simply breathe like you’re on a vacation in the oxygen-rich atmosphere of an unexplored M-class planet.

Remember, this cosmic event is all about listening to the wisdom that the universe has to offer. So, put your tr

Uranus

Uranus is in Taurus

Uranus is prograde at 25 Tau 35' 39", moving at 0.05 degrees per day, and is 3042024592km away and approaching.

Uranus Is In Taurus

Alrighty, folks! Strap in and hang on to your space helmets because the cosmic roller coaster is about to take off. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "What's this nerdy astrologer rambling about?" Well, let me tell you - Uranus is in Taurus, which is like blending a stubborn bull with a chaotic disco ball. Intriguing, isn't it? Now, let's start with the basics. Uranus is currently about 3054535215.476837635km away, doing its little prograde dance in the sky. That might sound far, but in the grand scheme of things, it's practically our cosmic neighbor. So, what does this mean for us? Brace yourself for some astronomical humor because it's going to be a "Uranus-shaking" experience! Taurus - they're the ones who love their comfort zone, aren't they? They'd rather binge-watch an entire series than risk missing an episode due to power failure. But here comes Uranus, the celestial equivalent of a power surge, ready to disrupt that marathon. The old ways of doing things are going out the window. It's time to adapt and evolve, my friends. It's like when they introduced the microwave - you might have been skeptical at first, but now you can't imagine life without it. But hold on to your telescopes, because it gets juicier. Taurus is all about the moolah. So, with Uranus entering the scene, we're looking at a complete makeover of our financial landscape. Imagine waking up one day and finding out that bitcoins are the new quarters. Banks may be reshaped, stock markets might jitterbug, and your piggy bank could become a thing of the past. On the personal front, Uranus in Taurus is like a cosmic Marie Kondo, urging us to declutter our financial and material lives. Debt, taxes, credit card interests - all these can feel like black holes sucking up your happiness particles. But now's the time to break free. It's like switching from a rickety old spaceship to a shiny new star cruiser. Resisting won't help because Uranus is here with its liberating energy, ready to beam us up to a life of greater stability. So, there you have it. We're in for a ride that's going to be more thrilling than the last season of Babylon 5. Get ready for some changes, because Uranus in Taurus is about to shake

Neptune

Neptune is in Pisces

Neptune is prograde at 29 Pis 55' 38", moving at 0 degrees per day, and is 4451429928km away and approaching.

Neptune Is In Pisces

Well, well, well, if it isn't Neptune, that big blue ball of mystery, making a grand entrance into Pisces. Now, if you're picturing a huge planet swimming around in a celestial fish tank, you wouldn't be entirely wrong, metaphorically speaking. Most importantly, for those who are not space geeks like yours truly, this means we are entering a time of deep spiritual and emotional introspection. Time to turn on your inner emo-goth playlist, friends. The fusion of Pisces' penchant for feelings and Neptune’s passion for unity is like a cosmic spotlight cutting through a foggy night. It's as if the universe is suddenly saying, "Hey, look at all these pesky differences between us. They're about as important as a single speck of dust on a supernova. So, let's just get along, yeah?" This cosmic alignment is like a celestial group therapy session, encouraging us to think about what we can bring to the table for our collective progress. And no, your famous guacamole recipe doesn't count. We're talking bigger picture here. What are your unique gifts, ideas, and dreams? It's time to unleash them and explore your emotional intelligence. Now, I'm not saying you should start a cult or anything, but this would be an excellent time to delve deeper into spiritual paths that resonate with you. Perhaps you could create a sacred space at home, something more than just your cherished spot on the couch. Fiddle around with some incense, light a few candles, whip out those old yoga mats. Neptune in Pisces is an open invitation to connect with what feels most sacred and share these experiences with the world. So, put on your best hippie attire, embrace your inner nerd, and remember: the universe has got your back. Or more accurately, it's got your entire existence. But hey, who's counting kilometers?

Pluto

Pluto is in Aquarius

Pluto is retrograde at 01 Aqu 26' 21", moving backwards at 0.02 degrees per day, and is 5103827919km away and approaching.

Pluto Is In Aquarius

Pluto In Aquarius: The Ultimate Cosmic Face-Off

Picture this: Pluto, the wee 'planet' (we're still salty about that downgrade, aren't we?) with a heart-shaped surface feature, is hanging out in Aquarius, the sign of the water-bearer. Now, before you start picturing Pluto getting a nice splash from Aquarius' jug, remember, Aquarius is an air sign. So, no, Pluto is not getting a much-needed bath.

Pluto, the celestial equivalent of that one intense friend who always insists on deep, existential conversations at 2 AM, is all about transformation. And not just the "Oh, I think I'll cut bangs" kind, but the "I'm going to reevaluate my entire life, quit my job, and move to a Tibetan monastery" kind. Pluto doesn't do things by halves, folks.

Meanwhile, Aquarius is the sign of progress, innovation, and the odd science experiment gone wrong (or right, depending on your perspective). When these two get together, it's like a sci-fi movie plot: expect the unexpected, and then multiply it by ten.

We're talking radical shifts in science, technology, and even space travel. Who knows, maybe teleportation will finally be a thing during this transit? A girl can dream! But it's not just about cool gadgets and warp speed; it's also about humanity. This transit could see us becoming more compassionate, more empathetic, and more inclined to work together for the betterment of all.

On a personal level, Pluto in Aquarius is the cosmic kick in the pants we need to change how we view ourselves and our place in the world. Instead of being self-focused, it's time to think about what's best for all. Basically, it's about becoming more like Mr. Spock and less like Sheldon Cooper.

So, are you ready for this cosmic shake-up? Because like it or not, Pluto in Aquarius is here, and it's about to make things a whole lot more interesting!

Mercury

Mercury Trine Saturn

You have a keen eye for detail and a practical turn of mind today. Your thinking is deep, practical, organized, and deliberate. You are aware of every flaw in thought and material and your work today will be towards precision. Concentration is sharp and focused. Plans made today are well thought out and, because of this, will probably succeed.Your mind is well-disciplined when it needs to be, and you possess strong powers of organization and orderliness. You are good at detail work. You are a person who says what you mean and mean what you say, and you can be baffled by, or impatient with, those who don’t. You are very trustworthy and reliable, showing up on time for appointments due to a basic respect for others and for schedules and orderliness. You make a loyal friend. You are capable of exceptionally clear and realistic thinking. Making plans is something that comes naturally to you–you consider consequences and possible scenarios before arriving at a decision or embarking on something entirely new. You are somewhat of a doubting Thomas, and you don’t naturally jump up and down with excitement about new ideas or plans. Your conversations may at times be spare but to the point.The trine aspect is the more dynamic of the two harmonious aspects. Those with the sextile can call upon these traits when needed, and those with the trine between the Mercury and Saturn have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities, expressing them naturally and consistently.Some Famous People with Mercury in Harmonious Aspect to Saturn: Sextiles – Edgar J. Hoover, Paul Newman, Olivia Newton-John, Pierre Trudeau; Trines – Wilem Dafoe, Sally Field, Ed McMahon, Raquel Welch, Robert Urich.

Venus

Venus Sextile Mars

Harmony in social activities is highlighted today. Activities with the opposite sex are enjoyable and rewarding. Romance is in your blood. Show someone you care for them. They will appreciate your sharing your feelings. Clean your house and do that redecorating you had planned. Make your surroundings more beautiful.It is easy for these people to attract attention of the positive kind. They radiate charm, vitality, and enthusiasm on some level that others appreciate. Not inclined to try to cover up their flaws, these people have a way of presenting themselves in a straightforward manner, and their ability to admit their mistakes and their fumbles only adds to their charm. They find it easy and natural to get along with both sexes quite equally. They possess considerable creative talent, but whether or not they use it is dependent on other factors. They may take their own talents for granted and often need some kind of stimulus or encouragement to do something with them. One of the reasons for this is the fact that their creativity comes so naturally to them that they may be surprised when others recognize their talents. Similarly, they usually possess athletic ability and may need some encouragement to develop it.The trine aspect is the more dynamic of the two harmonious aspects. Those with the sextile can call upon these traits when needed, and those with the trine between the Venus and Mars have incorporated the traits of the aspect into their personalities, expressing them naturally and consistently.Interpretation sample from the Karmic Insight report — Actively creating harmony and beauty through your work, art, or with people is part of what you are here to do. You have developed a harmonious coordination between the masculine and feminine energies within yourself; thus, you combine strength with grace, power with elegance, decisiveness and effort with pleasure, passion with tenderness and sensitivity. You have a romantic soul.Some positive expressions of this pattern might include athletic activities that have an aesthetic appeal, such as figure skating, or artistic endeavors that are active, such as performing dance or opera singing.Actively bringing people together in some way, for mutual pleasure and benefits, is also one of your gifts.Some Famous People with Venus in Harmonious Aspect to Mars: Sextiles – Pamela Anderson, Shannen Doherty, Ian Thorpe, Harry Belafonte, Kirk Cameron, Francis Ford Coppola, Jane Curtin, Matt Damon, Robert DeNiro, Harrison Ford, Erich Fromm, Crispin Glover, Elliott Gould, Amy Jo Johnson, Bob Newhart, Molly Ringwald, Robin Williams; Trines – Melissa Anderson, Jason Bateman, Pierre Cardin, Natalie Cole, John Coltrane, Mick Jagger, Ann Jillian, Billie Jean King, Marilyn Manson, Joe Montana, Bonnie Raitt, Eva Mendes, Britney Spears.