This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.
There is a % chance of solar activity, with a % chance of a minor event, a % chance of a moderate event, and a % chance of a strong event.
The waning moon is currently in Aquarius, at 25 degrees, 42' 52", at a velocity of 14.59 degrees per day.
The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 16.8 days old. It is 367180.81 km from the centre of the Earth.
The next new moon is at 11:14:21, 4 Aug, 2024. The next full moon is at 18:28:35, 19 Aug, 2024.
The Sun
The Sun is in Leo
The Sun is at 00 Leo 53' 55", and is 151972135km away and approaching.
The Moon
The Moon is in Aquarius
The Moon will change from Aquarius to Pisces in the next 24 hours.
The Moon is at 25 Aqu 42' 52", and is 365496km away and approaching.Mercury
Mercury is in Leo
Mercury is prograde at 27 Leo 47' 17", moving at 0.9 degrees per day, and is 126158936km away and approaching.
Venus
Venus is in Leo
Venus is prograde at 14 Leo 13' 59", moving at 1.23 degrees per day, and is 249418767km away and approaching.
Alright stargazers, buckle up because Venus just strutted into Leo's house and she's not here for a quiet cup of tea. No, sir! Our lovely lady of love has slipped into her sequined jumpsuit, fluffed up her mane, and is ready to set the stage on fire. Yes, my friends, when Venus sashays into Leo, it's like a cosmic Broadway show, and we're all invited to sing along.
This isn't your grandma's old-fashioned courtship. With Venus in Leo, we're not simply looking for love, oh no! We want our love to be billboard material. We yearn for skywriting declarations, flash mob proposals, and yes, even the occasional melodramatic love quarrel. Why? Because love isn't a whisper here, it's a roar!
But remember, fellow earthlings, all that glitters isn't gold. Leo might be the king of the jungle, but even kings can get a bit... testy if they feel overlooked. So, if you're feeling a little dramatic, maybe resist the urge to throw a fit worthy of an Oscar. After all, there's no "i" in "we", but there are two in 'divine'. Just saying...
And let's talk about moolah while Venus is tangoing with Leo. Money isn't just a means to an end here. It's the golden ticket to the chocolate factory of extravagance. You might feel the urge to splurge, to drape yourself in silk and diamonds or to buy that outrageously priced action figure you've been eyeing (no judgment, nerds have their bling too). But remember, Leo's heart is as generous as it is grandiose. So, buy that giant teddy bear for your sweetheart, donate to a cause close to your heart or treat your friends to an epic night out. Trust me, your happiness will multiply faster than bacteria in a petri dish.
So, as Venus pirouettes in Leo, let it rekindle the spark in your relationships, fan the flames of your passions, and remind you that life without a bit of razzle-dazzle is as dull as a black hole. And who needs that, right?
Mars
Mars is in Gemini
Mars is prograde at 01 Gem 39' 33", moving at 0.69 degrees per day, and is 245323540km away and approaching.
Well, buckle up my celestial stargazers because Mars has entered the chat... and by chat, I mean it's in Gemini. Imagine Mars, our fiery red planet, trying to fit into the intellectual twin shoes of Gemini. It's like trying to stuff a supernova into a test tube. Exciting? You bet. Chaotic? Absolutely.
With Mars taking a cosmic field trip through Gemini, your boredom levels should drop faster than a black hole pulling in space-time. It's time to explore new ideas, start new hobbies, and challenge the laws of physics by attempting to be in multiple places at once. Just remember, during this transit, it’s harder to focus on one thing for too long than it is to calculate the exact mass of the universe. But don’t fret! The beauty here is diversity and adaptability. Who needs a Plan A when you’ve got an entire alphabet to work with?
Now, don't get me wrong, Gemini is as fun-loving as a quasar pulsing out radio waves in a cosmic disco. But Mars in Gemini isn’t all fun and zero-g games. Like a butterfly in a garden of interests, we're flitting around so much we might just generate our own solar wind. Just be careful not to leave too many projects unfinished, or you'll have a cosmic to-do list longer than the distance from here to Alpha Centauri.
And let's not forget, stargazers, Mars isn’t just the planet of action and drive, it’s also the unofficially elected planet of passion and bedroom antics. While Mars is in Gemini, your biggest erogenous zone becomes your brain. Intellectual stimulation becomes the main course, and everything else is just side salad. So get ready for some serious mind melding, because when Mars is in Gemini, it's all about that meeting of the minds.
So, whether you're ready or not, Mars in Gemini is here, and it’s about as subtle as a supernova. Prepare for a whirlwind of wit, whimsy, and maybe just a touch of cosmic chaos. But hey, isn't that why we love this crazy universe?
Jupiter
Jupiter is in Gemini
Jupiter is prograde at 12 Gem 46' 56", moving at 0.19 degrees per day, and is 845861911km away and approaching.
Brace yourselves, star gazers, for Jupiter has sauntered into Gemini, and it's like throwing a philosopher into a room full of comedians. You see, Jupiter, the big brain of the celestial sphere, is all about deep thought and expansion, while Gemini, the cosmic chatterbox, just wants to know, "What's the deal with airline food?" It's a cerebral sitcom in the making.
Now, this might sound like the setup for a cosmic conflict, but really, it's more like an intellectual all-you-can-eat buffet. Gemini, the celestial equivalent of a multi-tabbed browser, offers a smorgasbord of ideas and possibilities. And Jupiter? Well, Jupiter just brought its stretchy pants and an empty stomach. Prepare for some serious mental feasting!
Thanks to Gemini's airy disposition and love for a good chinwag, we're likely to experience some top-notch banter during this astrological alignment. Prepare for puns, witty repartee, and maybe even some insightful debates hidden within the jests. Don't be surprised if you find yourself laughing at the absurdity of existence one moment and pondering the nature of reality the next. That's just Jupiter in Gemini's idea of a fun Friday night.
And busy? Oh, we're going to be as busy as a cat on a hot tin roof. We'll want to read everything, learn everything, discuss everything... I mean, who needs sleep when you have the entire universe to contemplate? Get ready to juggle a thousand ideas and a million thoughts, and remember – caffeine is your friend.
But hey, let's get serious for a moment (or as serious as we can be with Jupiter in Gemini). This transit isn't just about mental gymnastics and existential chuckles. It's also a rare chance for clarity. Jupiter's tour through Gemini is a prime time to broaden your horizons, consider different alternatives, and maybe even settle on where to order takeout from tonight. So, embrace the chaos, keep your mind open, and remember – in the grand cosmic comedy club, it's all just a bit of fun.
Saturn
Saturn is in Pisces
Saturn is retrograde at 18 Pis 58' 44", moving backwards at 0.04 degrees per day, and is 1342017136km away and approaching.
Fascinating. It appears that Saturn, the colossal cosmic taskmaster, is currently in the nebulous seas of Pisces. Armed with a distance of approximately 1,342,081,523.43 kilometers (give or take a few decimals), this celestial entity is presently in retrograde. An intriguing paradox, indeed.
Now, imagine Saturn donning a hippie tie-dye shirt and sandals, urging us to daydream about our deepest desires, whether it's writing the next interstellar bestseller or opening a vegan food cart on Mars. This is the moment to pacify your mind, take a deep breath, and ask the universe, "What's next on the agenda?" Be sure to keep a holographic notepad at hand, for the celestial download that's about to unfold might be worth noting down for future reference.
However, let me assure you, having Saturn in Pisces isn't as relaxing as a Vulcan nerve pinch. There's a good chance that Saturn might poke its space-probing nose into our private dreams, causing us to raise our metaphorical shields. But remember, even the most formidable forcefields won't deter this planetary patriarch from performing a cosmic cleanup. The logical move here is to invite Saturn in, offer him a cup of Earl Grey tea (hot, of course), and listen to what he has to say. Trust me, his advice is surprisingly sound.
Meanwhile, with all this cerebral engagement in the dreamy domain of Pisces, we may experience a heightened state of restlessness or even insomnia. My recommendation? Engage in some Vulcan meditation, take a stroll through an arboretum, breathe deeply, perhaps indulge in a short 'power nap' (keep your dream journal ready!). And dare I suggest going to bed early to allow your mind to slow its warp speed and rest. This is a crucial time to listen and learn from the profound wisdom offered by this transit.
And remember, as a wise Vulcan once said, "Infinite diversity in infinite combinations." Embrace the diversity of this transit, and may the force--I mean, live long and prosper.
Uranus
Uranus is in Taurus
Uranus is prograde at 26 Tau 35' 22", moving at 0.03 degrees per day, and is 2991840483km away and approaching.
Hey there, stargazers! Uranus, the cosmic rebel, has just busted into the Taurus saloon, and boy, is it shaking things up! Now, Taurus is as steady as they come, a real "if it ain't broke don't fix it" type. But Uranus? Well, let's just say it's got a flair for the dramatic. It's like having your favorite sci-fi series suddenly interrupted by a sitcom - confusing, unexpected, but oddly entertaining.
And what’s Taurus's favorite topic? That's right, your moolah, your dough, your hard-earned cash! With Uranus in Taurus, we're likely to see some major financial plot twists. Imagine the banking world being run by mad scientists, or cryptocurrency becoming more popular than cat videos. Yes folks, we're talking about a total money makeover here.
On a personal level, think of Uranus as that eccentric self-help guru who just moved in next door. It's going to help you break free from the chains of debt, taxes, and those terrifying credit card interest rates. The kind of chains that would make Houdini sweat. Even your relationship with your prized Beanie Baby collection may come under scrutiny. You might even start questioning if you really need all those Funko Pops... I mean, you do, but Uranus doesn't know that.
Now, I understand this all sounds as appealing as a Klingon poetry recital, but trust me, Uranus is here to liberate us. So buckle up and embrace the chaos. The cosmic winds are blowing, and we have no choice but to set sail. Who knows? You might even find yourself landing on a planet far better than the one you left. And remember, changes made during this time are like a good tattoo: they're here for the long haul, so make 'em count!
Neptune
Neptune is in Pisces
Neptune is retrograde at 29 Pis 48' 59", moving backwards at 0.01 degrees per day, and is 4392402626km away and approaching.
Alright my cosmic comrades, grab your telescopes and don your tin-foil hats! Neptune, that big blue beaut out there, is having a sleepover in Pisces' celestial condo. And let me tell you, this ain't just any ordinary sleepover. It's the sort where you stay up 'til the wee hours, talking about life, the universe, and why it’s pointless to argue over whether Star Wars or Star Trek reigns supreme. (I mean, really, can't we all just get along?)
Now, if you're feeling a bit like a fish out of water, it might be because Neptune is in retrograde. That's right, it's moonwalking its way across the cosmos, just shy of 4.4 billion kilometers from our little blue marble. So, if you've misplaced your car keys or keep finding your glasses on top of your head, don’t worry - you're not going bonkers, it's just Neptune doing a cosmic cha-cha.
The cool thing about this celestial shindig is that it’s all about unity, baby! Neptune in Pisces is a cosmic call to arms for us to take a deep dive into our emotional intelligence, and figure out how we can use our unique gifts to help heal our world. It’s like a galactic group project, but instead of a diorama of the solar system, we’re creating a blueprint for collective progress. How’s that for homework?
This is also the perfect time to brush up on your spiritual knowledge, maybe learn a bit about quantum physics or dabble in some astral projection. Set up an altar at home - or a science lab, your choice - and connect with whatever tickles your spiritual fancy.
So strap on your space boots, earthlings because Neptune in Pisces is taking us on a journey. And remember, if anyone asks, we're just stardust trying to make sense of this cosmic conundrum.
Pluto
Pluto is in Aquarius
Pluto is retrograde at 00 Aqu 52' 11", moving backwards at 0.02 degrees per day, and is 5093317743km away and receding.
Well, folks, it's that time of the cosmic calendar again. Pluto, our favorite dwarf planet, has decided to swing by Aquarius for a bit of a soak. Now you might be thinking, "But what does that mean for me?" The answer, my friend, is: change. But not just any change. We're talking the kind of transformation that would make a chameleon blush. This isn't a new haircut or a change in your morning coffee order; we're talking soul-level shifts.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Mr. Astrologer, Pluto is the planet of death!" Well, yes, but let's not get hung up on the semantics. Pluto is a bit of a drama queen when it comes to symbolism. It's all about the death of the old and the birth of the new. So, let's think of it as a cosmic spring cleaning. Out with the old, in with the new, and why is there a rubber duck under my couch?
With Pluto in Aquarius, the focus is on progress. And not the kind where you finally beat that level of Candy Crush you've been stuck on for weeks. We're talking leaps and bounds in science, technology, and even space travel. It's like Star Trek and Back to the Future had a baby. It's the dawn of an era where civil rights and humanitarianism take center stage. Suddenly, working together becomes the new black, and those who value empathy and understanding become the trendsetters. It's a global makeover, and honestly, we could all use a little touch-up.
On a personal note, Pluto in Aquarius is like a stern but well-meaning personal trainer. It's pushing us to rethink our place in this cosmic treadmill we call life. It's urging us to think beyond our own needs and wants, and consider the bigger picture. It's like a cosmic version of that old saying: "Be the change you want to see in the world." So, how about it? Are we ready to answer the call, or are we going to let it go to voicemail?
The Sun
The Sun
The Sun
Mercury
Venus
Mars
Mars