There are currently 3 planets in retrograde:
Your Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-inspired Horoscope
Good morning, afternoon, or evening (depending on where you’re orbiting). There's a bit of a planetary hoedown happening and you're all invited! You don't need a towel for this one, just buckle up, because it's going to be more bumpy than the Heart of Gold with a faulty Infinite Improbability Drive. #HitchhikersHoroscope
Mercury is in Capricorn, which usually means it's time to get serious about your communication. But remember, we're in a universe where planets think they're people and people think they're star dust. So, don't sweat it if you accidentally say "Babel fish" instead of "Apple pie". #MercurialMistakes
Venus, the celestial disco ball, is strutting her stuff in Scorpio. Prepare for some intense emotional connections, or at least some really good chocolate. Might be a good time to start practicing saying, "I love you," to your petunias. #VenusInScorpio
Mars is currently in Sagittarius, which could mean it’s time to explore new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go... wait, wrong franchise. Just remember, wherever your adventures take you, avoid any planet described as 'mostly harmless'. #MarsInSag
Jupiter is lounging in Taurus and sending out vibes of expansion and growth, especially in the areas of comfort food and sofa sitting. In other words, the universe is giving you permission to have that second piece of fairy cake. #JupiterInTaurus
Saturn is in Pisces, bringing lessons and structure to our dreams. But if those dreams involve a herd of wild mattresses bounding through the marshes, you might need to have a word with your subconscious. #SaturnInPisces
Uranus is also in Taurus, stirring up change and unpredictability in our material world. So, if your electronic thumb stops working, don't panic! Just thumb a ride on the next passing Vogon constructor fleet...or maybe not. #UranusInTaurus
Neptune is in Pisces, enhancing our intuition and spiritual connection. Or making us think we can talk to mice about the meaning
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