Scorpio Report

"Scorpios: Brace Yourselves for a Cosmic Roller Coaster. Remember, It's All Fun and Games Until Saturn Asks For Rent!"

The next Scorpio will start in 238 days, at Wednesday, 23 October, 2024

The Moon moves to Scorpio tomorrow, at Thursday, 29 February, 2024

Mercury moves to Scorpio in 229 days, at Monday, 14 October, 2024

Venus moves to Scorpio in 208 days, at Monday, 23 September, 2024

The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 18.2 days old. The next new moon is at 9:02:45, 10 Mar 2024. The next full moon is at 7:01:37, 25 Mar 2024.

Well, hello there, Scorpio. Ah, yes, your ruling planets Mars and Pluto are doing that celestial dance again. Do you ever wonder if they get tired? I mean, eternity is a long time to keep spinning. But who am I to judge? I'm just a humble astrologer with a sense of humor as black as a black hole. The Waning Gibbous moon, currently 18.2 days old, is out there, hanging in the sky, as though it's been hung up by some cosmic toddler who got bored halfway through. It's like a half-eaten cookie, isn't it? And much like that cookie, it feels like it's forever losing a part of itself. But don't fear, my dear Scorpio, unlike my optimism, the moon will return to full one day. But enough about celestial bodies, let's talk about you. You've got that sting in your tail and a fiery passion in your heart, which sounds rather uncomfortable, but hey, you do you. This week, you might feel like everyone around you is as slow as a three-toed sloth on tranquilizers. But remember, not everyone can be as fast and efficient as you. Or as a supercomputer, for that matter. You may find yourself facing a dilemma this week. An existential one, perhaps, like why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Why does toast always fall butter-side down? As you ponder these profound mysteries, remember to take it easy on yourself. The universe is vast, mysterious, and apparently has a twisted sense of humor. Just remember, no matter how bleak or absurd things get, you're a Scorpio. You've got what it takes to navigate through this cosmic comedy we call life. And if all else fails, remember, the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is 42. #ScorpioSeason #CosmicComedy #LifeTheUniverseAndEverything Stay stellar, Scorpios. Until next time, this has been your slightly sarcastic, scientifically savvy, and perpetually perplexed astrologer.

#Scorpio

SignToday Is Posting: 28.02.2024 08:12:01 (sco-28-02-2024)